A couple Greater Cleveland driving rules, modified from those original pesky ordinances. Not rules really, just helpful tips:
- If a driver has his* turn signal on does not mean, necessarily, that he will turn.
- A driver making a turn does not necessarily use his turn signal; in some cities, I believe, it is illegal to use the signal – there’s no other explanation.
- Yellow means kick it to the floor, let out a hair raising scream
- Green means proceed with great caution, watch for #3, prepare to meet Maker
- The crappier the car, the louder the bass
- Flashing red semaphore after 11 pm is open to interpretation, and your mood
- Chatting on the phone brings your IQ down to about 80, I’m not kidding, really
- Texting while driving brings your IQ into the 8 to 10 range – hard to even measure