The Kiss Of Near-Death


The Underpants Bomber, it seems, was directed to scorch his genitals by two al Qaeda leaders who used to reside at Guantanamo prison. ABC reports:

American officials agreed to send the two terrorists from Guantanamo to Saudi Arabia where they entered into an “art therapy rehabilitation program” and were set free, according to U.S. and Saudi officials.

So – it must be President Obama’s fault. Typical liberal – give ‘em art, that’ll solve everything…

…what? The Bush administration released these guys in 2007? To the Saudis? Oh, the Saudis, with whom W likes to suck face? Saudis, who made up fifteen of the ninteen 9/11 hijackers? Those Saudis?

Okay, then it’s alright, never mind.

Published in: on December 29, 2009 at 12:25 pm  Comments (2)  

Lying Sack of Cute

From our friends at Political Wire, quoting Dana Perrino, George Bush’s SpokesLiar:

“We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush’s term.”

more about “Lying Sack of Cute“, posted with vodpod
Published in: on November 25, 2009 at 10:22 am  Leave a Comment  

Look What I Did, Mommy, All By Myself!

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Look, and look well, my dears, into the psyche of the “prolife” movement. This touching artwork by a fellow inmate is signed/endorsed by the dispatcher of an abortion provider, the late Dr Tiller of Kansas.

I don’t know whether it’s the saucy palette of warm, engaging colors or the delicately rendered human form in repose; perhaps it’s the imperceptibly sublime nature of disambiguation, but there is something deep and succinct here that speaks to the ages.

Shorter version: Respect Life or I’ll Kill You!

Published in: on November 4, 2009 at 1:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

Who You Callin’ Boy?

rush-limbaugh-parody

He clearly wants to bring hate into full fashion. He cannot resist it, shadowboxing around his proud and practiced racism, skillfully using words that just border on the blatancy of his biases.

Skillfully until today, that is.  Using his favorite put-down of the president, Rush went for “man-child” but got to “little boy” first. Paging Dr. Freud!

Was a time, in my life and in my fair land, when using “boy” to describe a grown black man was being as backward as you could be, to put it charitably. Old Skool Christians would say, “bless his heart, that’s just the way he was raised, his daddy didn’t know any better.”

Flash forward to the less charitable, like me, who petition the Lord for no blessing upon the perverted heart of this bloated blot upon humankind, and I mean that in the most generous way.

Published in: on October 28, 2009 at 8:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

From Dick’s Point of View…

asshatNoted sociopath and The Hague-avoider Richard Bruce Cheney is having his regular hissy since losing the reins of government for Republicans, probably for a generation. President Obama is”dithering,” BeelzebubCheney blithered. Needs to do what needs to be done to win in Afghanistan.

One wonders what prevented the delusional Mr Cheney and his flying monkeys from winning the war, whatever he means by that, before he handed this president the writhing, chaotic mess Cheney fashioned out of his own cowardice and incompetence.

Published in: on October 22, 2009 at 10:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

Her Job is Done Here

SoccerMomGunx

Mom protects her family by being un-alive

The other parents at the games once attended by this now-deceased pistol-packin’ soccer mama will no longer feel alarmed at the sight of her openly carrying her Glock.

She and her husband have been found dead in a murder-suicide, one or the other having put the Glock to use.

While I have compassion for her now-orphaned children, at least we will not have to open a paper or watch the evening news Web link in the near future to a story describing how a clearly insane parent gunned down these kids.

By way of the parents’ actions, then, her gun has done the ultimate job of protecting her family. Most of them, anyway.

Meanwhile – her 15 minutes IS SO PERMANENTLY OVER.

Published in: on October 8, 2009 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

KKKlassy with a “K!”

Dan Riehl does not mind people hanging around

Dan Riehl does not mind people hanging around

This guy:

Sparkman’s bio and work history suggests at the least he was not just your average guy. No teaching degree, no full-time means of employment and no wife or kids so far as I am aware. But he certainly did gravitate towards children. I can’t help but wonder if this wasn’t a revenge killing disguised to look like something else. If he did have issues in this regard and messed with the wrong kid, it isn’t as if something like that can be ruled out until we know more.

So – Mr True Crime just senses that Mr Sparkman was a child predator. No evidence whatsoever to sustain or even suggest this, but that gives Mr True Crime no pause. This justification for murder, which Creepublicans Republicans seem to excel at lately, is right out of Karl Rove’s play book: Dehumanize and smear victims so it appears they deserve their fate.

Next thing you know (thanks, Jim Ward!), Mr True Crime will suggest that the morans that did this were spelling-challenged and had started to write “pedophile” on Mr Sparkman’s chest, but gave up after writing ‘fed.” Those darn multi-syllable words!

If I were to suggest that perhaps Mr True Crime assisted Glenn Beck in raping and murdering a young girl in 1990, I’m guess I’m on safe ground since Mr True Crime has not explicitly denied that he, himself, murdered Mr Sparkman. Logic reigns, baby! Mr True Crime sure seems to know a lot of details about the Sparkman killing, plus I have heard that Mr True Crime likes children – or, rather, LOVES them. Can’t be ruled out!

Just sayin.’

[h/t Mr Johnson]

Published in: on September 29, 2009 at 10:06 am  Comments (4)  

She’s that Simple

peter_lorre_m

“It’s that simple,” she declared, “if you want another terrorist attack in the U.S., abandon Afghanistan.”

So chirps Afghanistan-abandoner, Condi Rice, in another massive flash of brilliance that barely could be contained by the pages of Fortune magazine.

“The last time we left Afghanistan, and we abandoned Pakistan,” she said, “that territory became the very territory on which Al Qaeda trained and attacked us on September 11th.”

So if we stay in Afghanistan, we’re screwed. If we declare victory and come home, we’re screwed. And if we are handed a bungled war, we can fully expect no help at all from the bunglers who took a sharp right into Iraq in the first place.

Republican lust for power supersedes sane foreign policy. Still.

Published in: on September 25, 2009 at 10:25 am  Leave a Comment  

The New Racism™

“We need segregated buses.” – Rush Limbaugh, Sep. 16, 2009

kkk

The KKK lights Rush Limbaugh's cigar

Thus begins, via both surviving-but-dessicated brain cells skittering around Rush’s Oxycontinized noggin like chipped Tic Tacs, the New Racisim™. Borrowing from Rover’s playbook, Rush the Racist accuses others of racism to take them off the scent. I think he prefers brown people remain in their native lands, rather than live here. His Viagara-laced sex trips to the Dominican Republic reflect that, I think.

Rush is a fearful, delicate hothouse flower of a creature. He would never have the courage to run for office and serve the people. He is a weakling who hides behind a microphone – do they make mics that enormous? – shuddering in terror within his echo chamber that he’ll have to talk to anyone other than a dittohead.

He knows that the days are numbered for racist sociopath drug addicts, and he’s floppin’ like a Crappie outta water, as my people say back in Minnesota.

Douschetastic!

Published in: on September 17, 2009 at 10:42 am  Leave a Comment  

Commies that Play Barbie™

is-this-tomorrow

So – reluctantly, I’ve taken the chance of sending my two daughters to school today, knowing full well there’s a chance they’ll come back as commie pinkos, seeing as how their school will allow them to hear – and see! – President Obama’s manifesto via the TV Machine and Internet Tubes.  Under his jackboot of collectivism, my kids might transform into spies for the state, and will no doubt occasionally  need to turn in their parents for not having adequate socialistic fervor.

At least they’re learning!

Tiller’s Killer

murder_sceneTiller’s alleged killer wants to base his defense on “justifiable homicide:”

Roeder has court-appointed defense attorneys, but he apparently has now turned to Michael Hirsh, the lawyer who represented Paul Hill on appeal for killing a Florida abortion provider and his bodyguard in 1994. Hill was executed in 2003 after the Florida Supreme Court rejected Hirsh’s argument that the judge should have allowed Hill to present to jurors his claim that the killings were justified to prevent abortions.

Hope it works out as well for my boy Scotty as it did for Mr. Hill, and I mean that most sincerely, with extra heapin’ helpins’ of love.

Published in: on August 31, 2009 at 2:17 pm  Leave a Comment  

Idaho? No, He da Ho

753px-KKK_GUN_bw

Rep. Rex Rammell (R-Crackerland, Nitwittia) UPDATE: this is not Rammell, but rather a willfully ignorant bigot. My confusion is understandable.

I realize that this guy got his name from some sticky 70s porno flick, but putting that aside, Rep. Rex Rammell (R-Crackerland) must be one of the funniest dudes in the House.

Rammell’s comment about buying a license to hunt Obama has received national play in newspapers, on television and on the Web.
Rammell made the comment Tuesday at a Republican barbecue in Twin Falls during talk [sic] about Idaho selling its first $11.50 hunting tags for wolves this fall. Someone shouted “Obama tags,” and Rammell said, “The Obama tags? We’d buy some of those.”

Snappy!

On Friday, he said in a news release and on Twitter: “Anyone who understands the law, knows I was just joking, because Idaho has no jurisdiction to issue hunting tags in Washington, D.C.”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA – OH, MY GUT! I get it now! It’s not just that hunting the president with a rifle is SO DARNED FUNNY – my stomach still aches – the kicker punchline is that YOU COULDN’T HUNT THE PRESIDENT LEGALLY IN D.C.

So he was just JOKIN’! OKAY, THEN!

Published in: on August 29, 2009 at 11:20 am  Comments (1)  

The Great White Dope

Egg RacismDon’t you see?  There’s nothing wrong with Kansas. From the Topeka Capitol-Journal:

U.S. Rep. Lynn Jenkins [R-Emerald City] offered encouragement to conservatives at a town hall forum that the Republican Party would embrace a “great white hope” capable of thwarting the political agenda endorsed by Democrats who control Congress and President Barack Obama.

You got your “great,” “white” and “hope” associated with one another, and Jenkins’ press shill decided to improve the situation:

“There’s no doubt the Republican Party has gone through some dark and challenging times in recent years, but thankfully bright young leaders have stepped up to lead the party into the future and she hopes to be a part of it. That was the intent of her comments — nothing more and nothing less. Congresswoman Jenkins apologizes for her choice of words.”

Right! The original use of ‘great white hope” was not racist at all!

So, “dark” is associated with bad Republican times, “white” and “bright” with hope and the future. Gotta love the apology appended as afterthought, too. Jack Johnson’s detractors would be proud of the wordsmithing.

When do they apologise for the apology?

Joe the Dumber, Beater of Grandmas

crybaby

Joe started squalling during the last administration

From Think Progress, quoting some Joe-on-Nancy love:

WURZELBACHER: For Pelosi to write about us bein’ un-American and disprespectful — I’ll tell ya what: I respect nobody who lies to me and manipulates me and takes my money and puts my children in debt. They want me to be respectful towards them? Please! You know, I’m not the most civilized person: Those kind of people, I usually took behind the woodshed and just beat the livin’ tar out of ‘em.

A violent spirit is rising in America. The losers (and I mean that, with a big, fat “L” on the forehead) of the last election have rejected the American electoral process, and apparently want to thrash, threaten and kill to change it.

Joe, Sam, whatever the hell your name is, buddy, beater-of-grandmothers: you lied to us about your name, your career status, and you have sucked the government benefit teat, putting working people like me in debt. You have called people un-American. Up yours, and have a nice day!

more about “Joe the Dumber“, posted with vodpod
Published in: on August 18, 2009 at 10:57 am  Comments (2)  

Deatherwisher Is As Deatherwisher Does

nerdy-gun-guy-cropped-proto-custom_1From Talking Points Memo and CNN’s Ed Henry, who spotted more signs of armed insurrection, and they’ve upped the ante to a pair of AR-15s:

One man, whose presence we noted earlier, was an African-American man who didn’t seem to make completely clear what his political position was. But the second, who we haven’t seen any pictures of, was apparently holding his assault rifle while chanting against socialism and denouncing Obama’s policies.

Does someone have to die before the Secret Service drops the hammer on these guys? I know it’s legal to carry, but can they enter a concert, or the grocery store or a daycare center with a gun? Is Arizona being invaded by the Mexicans or someone, such that they need to raise a well regulated militia?

Update: Make that about a dozen guns that showed up. Anybody ever see the Jules Feiffer film, Little Murders? Here we are, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Published in: on August 17, 2009 at 4:32 pm  Leave a Comment  

Simply Put: Republicans are Liars

Cover PRETTY LITTLE LIARSThank you, Amy Sullivan of Time, for calling out the lying Republican Haters:

Remember the 2003 Medicare prescription drug bill, the one that passed with the votes of 204 GOP House members and 42 GOP Senators? Anyone want to guess what it provided funding for? Did you say counseling for end-of-life issues and care? Ding ding ding!!

Ding, ding, ding, indeed. The Republicans’ time is SO UP. Lead or follow, you lying clowns, but get the hell outta the way.

Did I mention that Republicans are liars?

A Little Too Close to Home

racistairforceoneBFrom OhioDailyBlog via bloggerinterrupted:

In the message sent to an unknown number of recipients from a North Canton Police email address ( amalachowski@northcantonpolice.org ), Dispatcher Anita Malachowski forwards the message

“New “Air Force One” Tail Number and yes, please forgive me, I’m really sorry, I really, really tried not to laugh, but …………………..!”

The message is sent along with a Photoshopped image of Air Force One with the “N-number” or tail number spelled out as NI66ER.

I sit on the board of the Cleveland Police Historical Society. My grandfather was a motorcycle cop. I support the The Greater Cleveland Peace Officers Memorial Society. I’ve interviewed dozens of peace officers. I know multiple cops, and my respect for what they do to protect me and my family does not waver.

I suspect that the police officers I know would not be terribly happy with Dispatcher Malachowski. Tough enough to be a cop without racist attacks coming from within their own ranks.

Published in: on August 14, 2009 at 11:17 am  Comments (1)  

Money for Nothing

01dobson

From the AP via Raw Story:

DENVER (AP) — A “serious budget shortfall” at Focus on the Family has prompted the conservative Christian group to issue a special fundraising plea, and contributed to a decision to cede control of its contentious “Love Won Out” conferences about homosexuality to another religious organization, a spokesman said Tuesday.

I’ll agree with a commenter:

The Lord works in mysterious & wonderful ways.

There should be no alarm over at Focus on the Family – budget shortfalls can be made up by the usual fear-mongering. It’s just a question of targets: gays, Obama, libruls – the usual suspects.

What should cause worry is the bankruptcy of their ideas.

Published in: on August 12, 2009 at 11:49 am  Leave a Comment  

But Who Will Kiss Their Boo-Boos?

WS1000From the Balloon Juice Overlords:

Barack Obama stripped millions of Americans of their right to not have a black President.

Comments are hilarious.

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